Epiphany Center’s Little Professors

“They’re my little professors,” Marlin says when discussing the babies and toddlers at Epiphany Center. “This is their territory. I want to see their world, their creativity, their ways of communicating. They have their own little leadership. They sit down together and hold meetings. At Epiphany, we do have a curriculum, but we aim to be flexible because the children have their own unique ways of learning. You need to acclimate to them.”

Marlin Darby, an Epiphany Road to Resilience (R2R) Parenting Support Counselor, helps unhoused pregnant women and new mothers to get connected with critical resources in San Francisco and to bond with their babies. While new to R2R, Marlin has been with Epiphany Center for nearly 20 years. Fluent in English and Spanish, she initially worked as a Toddler Teacher for Epiphany’s Parent-Child Center (PCC). Marlin then became interested in learning to help families, particularly Latino families in their own environments and worked as a Family Support Specialist for Epiphany’s In-Home Services.

“I still vividly remember my third interview for the position at PCC with Sister Fran up on the third floor,” Marlin says wide-eyed. Sister Fran Kearny oversaw Epiphany’s Parent-Child Center, a family-centered resource for parents and young children 0-3 years of age who need support, compassion, and skill building in a culturally sensitive, nonjudgmental environment.

“Sister Fran said, ‘if baby Chelsea accepts you, you’ve got the job,’ Sister Fran told me that Chelsea was essentially the leader of the babies. Whatever she did, the other little ones followed. I sat near Chelsea and waited. She stared at me. I stared back. Then, Chelsea put out her little hand. Sister Fran clapped, smiled, and exclaimed, ‘You got the job!’” The childcare curriculum at Epiphany is based on the highly reputable Program for Infant/Toddler Care (PITC) and considers a relationship-based approach to caring for little ones essential. Responsive, respectful care in a relationship is key for supporting early learning, rather than developing lessons for infants to master. Marlin intuitively grasped this key concept and so, was hired.

Attachment at Epiphany Center

“I may come across as an expert to the moms. But ultimately, it’s about giving tools to the moms. I am a bridge to help the women learn to attach with her child,” said Marlin.

Teaching how attachment looks and feels can be challenging for this population. “Many of these women did not have happy childhoods,” she says. Often there is not only a language barrier, but also trauma, addiction, and fear of abandonment. Having grappled with so much adversity can make moms feel inadequate and assume that others know better.  

“My job is to show moms that they’re in charge, that they’re resilient simply having asked for help,” says Marlin. As part of the R2R team of navigators, Marlin serves as a much-needed consistent presence in their lives. She regularly follows up with the women to ask if they’re doing therapy or taking their medicine.

Journaling: Making Moms’ Moments of Connection Count

“I like bringing journals to the women. I ask them to write about their thoughts and feelings because I want them to see they matter. I want to make their lives feel meaningful to them,” says Marlin.

Marlin’s bilingual skills have been invaluable for the R2R team who often consult with her when working with unhoused immigrants. “The challenge that these clients face is they often have no access to materials. They are in survival mode, so writing seems like a luxury and a waste of time. I encourage them to capture a thought, a song, a moment when they connected with their child. My hope is that the moms know that these moments matter,” she says.

Lifelong Learning at Epiphany Center

“I’m so grateful for all I continue to learn at Epiphany Center,” says Marlin. “I owe a big part of my success in working with families in a trauma-informed way to Dr. Linda Perez, Ph.D.” For over 30 years, Dr. Perez has served as the Clinical Director of the agency’s Family Treatment Program. A leading expert on trauma informed practices, she has a profound interest in serving low-income mothers with psychiatric and substance abuse problems and the growing population of infants and young children with a range of special needs enduring trauma.

Marlin is currently pursuing a degree in early childhood development. She enjoys implementing what she’s learning in the classroom at Epiphany Center in the interest of helping the children, moms, and families to overcome adversity. “I’m thankful simply for the opportunity to learn. I see it as a privilege. Privilege is not about being rich. It’s about having a job you love, being in school, and helping these families to thrive.”

Thank you for all you do for Epiphany’s families, Marlin! We are so grateful for your compassion and creativity.